A couple of years ago, I published our organization’s version of Reader’s Digest’s “@Work.” Instead of getting deep into the legal changes of workers’ compensation or some strategic way to handle injuries, I thought we’d visit a couple of the lighter moments of our world in 2011.
The world of worker’s compensation and drug screening continues to give us laughter daily. Some of these stories are both true and sometimes sad, but also doggone funny. As I stated the last time I wrote on this subject, we believe there’s nothing objectively amusing about someone getting injured on the job, or illegal drug use. Yet there are moments when the circumstances surrounding the objective reality makes us say “wow,” with an uncomfortable snicker.
From the annals of the drug testing world comes yet another couple of circumstances that are all too amusing. We continue to have those who believe sneaking in “clean” drug screen specimens is a good idea. However, we had a first in which the gentleman told us he tied a string with an attached pill bottle around his upper thigh for “good luck,” and another who told us that the rubber glove filled with what appeared to be a specimen in only two fingers was “just in case.” Just in case of what, we are still unsure.
But the one with the sad, true and simultaneous “snicker” factors comes from our medical director. (I have changed only a couple of details to maintain confidentiality.) A lady was called after her specimen came back positive for cocaine. When asked by the physician if she could explain the positive result, she stated she was drinking a lot the previous week, so she did not exactly remember doing the drug. However, it was rough week because her family had to “put grandpa down,” and she very well could have done a few lines. Interesting choice of words, wouldn’t you say?
The last story I’ll share is the IWIRC version of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” A gentleman came to our clinic with his young son in tow for a pre-employment physical. Not wanting to leave the boy alone in the waiting room, he brought his son into the exam room with him. When it was time for the hernia check, our female provider asked if he wanted the little guy to wait outside the room, and the gentleman declined. As he dropped his trousers, the little boy said with a look of confusion on his face, “Mommy is gonna be mad…” Now, that’s a mama’s boy.
Hope you’ve had a wonderful and safe holiday. iBi